Muppet Show: Jeff Dunham
by shadowfax1991
Summary: The muppet show cast finds a block of ice that has a unique surprise inside; the Sinclair Family. They are put into the show at the last minute for the Guest Star; Jeff Dunham and his freinds.  Dinosaurs and Muppets are owned by Jim henson.
1. Chapter 1

**Prior to show**

Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter and Beauregard were cleaning up in the basement freezer,

"How come there is a giant freezer down here" Fozzie complained,

"Well Fozzie, my Uncle brought the place from a bankrupt school that was used by Oxford University" explained Scooter,

"Well explain this" said Gonzo, pointing at a giant block of solid ice, the five of them peered into the ice

"there-there-there-there's something inside it" stuttered Fozzie, sounding worried as Kermit glanced around at the clock

"Good grief" he exclaimed "our Guest Star is due here in a few minutes, find a way to break the ice and see what that is".

Kermit ran upstairs to greet the Guest Star as Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter and Beauregard carried the ice into the boiler room to melt.


	2. Chapter 2

Curtain Call

Scooter knocked on the Guest Star's door calling "Jeff Dunham, Jeff Dunham? 60 seconds to curtain Mr Dunham" the door opened and an old man with no hair popped his head out and said grumpily "We know, we know, now get!" and closed the door, "Walter seems a little upset" said Scooter to himself when the door opened again to a skull wearing a white turban and it said in an Arab accent "forget about him, I'll blow him up after the show" and he closed the door, "Achmed is in good form tonight" said Scooter as the door opened again to a dark skinned man who said "Brother, Jeff Dunham, my man, is nearly ready" and he closed the door and reopened to a long nosed, blonde haired superhero who said "Da-dada-da, Jeff Dunham is coming!" the door closed again and reopened to a purple skinned, green haired creature who said "don't you worry my friend, Jefafa Dun-Ham is coming now, ha ha ha, neow!" he exclaimed running his hand through the tuft of head hair and slamming the door behind him, Scooter then said "there's all Mr Dunham's Friends, but where's Mr Dunham" the door opened again to reveal Jeff Dunham holding José Jalapeño on a Stick "sorry Scooter, just getting the gang all round up", "Si Senior Scooter, Senior Dunham is getting everyone together" Said José in his Mexican accent as he and Jeff re-entered the dressing room, "Wow, Mr Dunham really is a swell guy" said Scooter.

Onstage Kermit started the introduction; "it's the Muppet Show with our very special Guest Star: Mr Jeff Dunham, yay!" he exclaimed as the Curtain opened and the theme played:

'It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights, it's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

It's time to put on makeup, it's time to dress up right, it's time to get things started, why don't you get things started?'

In the theatre box, Statler and Waldorf watched the theme and Statler said "another crummy half hour of our lives about to be wasted"

'It's time to get things started

On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational

This is what we call the Muppet Show!'

Gonzo then blew into the trumpet and was blasted back, and then he shouted "again!"


	3. Chapter 3

Intro/Bye Bye Bye

Kermit ran out on stage bowing and saying "thank you, thank you and welcome to the Muppet Show, tonight we have one of the businesses' greatest comedian….", "Fozzie Bear is anything but one of the greatest comedians" Waldorf interrupted with him and Statler chuckling to themselves, "shows how much you two know" said Kermit "as I was saying, our guest star is one of the world's funniest ventriloquists', Mr Jeff Dunham, now let's get underway with the Muppet Show" he rushed off the stage as the curtain opened to 5 figures to their backs to the Audience as the first song of the night struck up.

The front 4 figures turned, revealing to be Walter, Achmed, Sweet Daddy Dee and Peanut dressed in hip hop gear as the started singing '(Hey, Hey) Bye, Bye, Bye. Bye, Bye... Bye, Bye... Oh, Oh..'

The 5th figure turned revealing Jeff Dunham in the same attire as he started singing

'I'm doin' this tonight, you're probably gonna start a fight. I know this can't be right. Hey baby come on, I loved you endlessly, when you weren't there for me. So now it's time to leave and make it alone, I know that I can't take no more, It ain't no lie, I wanna see you out that door, Baby, bye, bye, bye...

Bye Bye, Don't wanna be a fool for you, Just another player in your game for two, You may hate me but it ain't no lie, Baby, bye, bye, bye... Bye Bye, Don't really wanna make it tough, I just wanna tell you that I had enough. It might sound crazy, But it ain't no lie, Baby, bye, bye, bye

(Oh, Oh) Just hit me with the truth, Now, girl you're more than welcome to. So give me one good reason, Baby come on I live for you and me, And now I really come to see, that life would be much better once you're gone.

I know that I can't take no more, It ain't no lie, I wanna see you out that door, Baby, bye, bye, bye... Bye Bye, Don't wanna be a fool for you, Just another player in your game for two, You may hate me but it ain't no lie, Baby Bye, bye, bye... Bye Bye, Don't really wanna make it tough, I just wanna tell you that I had enough (ooh ooh) It might sound crazy, But it ain't no lie, Baby, bye, bye, bye

I'm giving up I know for sure, I don't wanna be the reason for your love no more, Bye Bye, I'm checkin' out, I'm signin' off, Don't wanna be the loser and I've had enough

Don't wanna be your fool, in this game for two, so I'm leavin' you behind, Bye, bye, bye...

I don't wanna make it tough (wanna make it tough) But I had enough and it ain't no lie (Bye, bye baby...) Bye, Bye, Don't wanna be a fool for you, Just another player in your game for two (I don't wanna be your fool), But it ain't no lie, Baby bye, bye, bye...

Don't really wanna make it tough (don't really wanna make it tough), I just wanna tell you that I had enough (that I had enough). Might sound crazy, But it ain't no lie, Bye, bye, bye'

The audience cheered as the song ended, Statler and Waldorf cheered along, "You know, I know someone they can say 'Bye, Bye, Bye' to" said Statler, "oh really?" inquired Waldorf "who?", "me" jested Statler and the both broke out in laughter.


	4. Chapter 4

Backstage/ Swedish Chef

Walter, Achmed, Sweet Daddy Dee and Peanut walked off stage and up to the dressing room, Jeff stopped to talk to Kermit,

"Kermit, what is the schedule for the show tonight?" he asked

"Well Jeff let's see, we've had the opening, next is the Swedish Chef, then we have you and Peanut with a song, then we have Muppet Labs, and then we have Veterinarians Hospital, and then we have a blank spot, but I hope we'll have something for it soon" Kermit said

"Me too" replied Jeff as the Swedish Chef walked onstage humming to himself.

The Swedish Chef sings in mock Swedish holding a cleaver and a wooden meat hammer, after he sang his trademark "Bork Bork Bork" he throws the cleaver over his shoulder first and it smashes the window, he looked around and accidentally throws the hammer into the wings, hitting Gonzo in the head.

He then started to say "eenglish word….(string of mock Swedish) the Icy Creem Speeeders" (Ice Cream Spiders), he proceeded to add the straws to the glasses of Spiders then they all came to life and attacked him, the Swedish Chef grabbed his blunderbuss and started shooting at them, however he ran out of ammo and the Spiders crowded over him, ending the spot.

Statler and Waldorf shook their heads in disappointment "he should go back and do what he was doing before he was on the show" said Waldorf, "yeah" replied Statler "er…what was that?", "nothing" said Waldorf and they both broke out in laughter.


End file.
